*Do do do-do dooo! Ring!*
I roll over and clutch my phone angrily to quiet its annoying
alarm. Is it really already time for me to get ready for work? Glancing
at the time, I groan as it is in fact eight o'clock and roll into a
sitting position. Without any thought process I grope around for my
sweatshirt. Even though it's no longer winter, it's chill still seeps
into the basement where my boyfriend and i sleep every night.
Stepping onto the cold floor, I turn on my laptop and turn the
music up. Everyone else is gone. My boyfriends father and stepmother at
work as well as my boyfriend, and his brother is at school. It is only
the five cats, the dog, and myself.
By the time I'm dressed I am fully awake and singing along with the
music. "This is how you remind me of what I really am. It's not like
you to say sorry. I was waiting on a different story. This time I'm
mistaken for handing you a heart worth breakin'. I've been wrong, I've
been down to the bottom of every bottle. Despite words in my head scream
"Are we having fun yet?" Yet?, Yet?, Yet?, no no"
I flinch as memories of him crawl into my mind. He was my closest
friend. He came into my life when I needed him most. I was freshly
graduated from high school, and I lost people who I though were my very
good friends. And although I knew I truly wasn't, I felt abandoned and
unloved. But then I met him. I called him my angel since he made me
smile again. We were constantly talking to each other. Every moment
where we weren't busy with work or school or family affairs we spent it
laughing and talking to each other. Whenever one cried, the other was
right there for comfort.
Then, before i knew it, he fell in love. It wasn't him being in
love that hurt me. I wanted him to be happy and if she made him happy
then I wanted him to be with her. It was how I was suddenly
insignificant to him. At least, he made me feel that way. The constant
talking instantly died down to where I was lucky if he would say hello
to me. I felt as if a broken doll that was tossed aside for a new and
better one.
I sighed and checked my bag for everything i need for work that
day. The keys to the shop, a book to read, some food and drink for
lunch. Slipping on my black sneakers, I let the dog outside and turn on
my iPod. I knew my boyfriends cousin lived in the apartment in the
basement next to my room, and would keep an eye on the dog until my
boyfriends father came home from work in an hour.
Walking down the busy, windy road, I try my hardest not to think of
him. How could someone so pure hearted, so kind, be so cruel and
hurtful? I just grunt in frustration and turn my music up a little
louder.
"I wanted you to know, that I love the way you laugh. I want to hold you high and steal your pain away...."
FFWD>>>
I couldn't bring myself to listen to that song. It was our song. We
played it to each other to remind each other that we would always be
there when we needed each other. Forever and always. I could feel my
throat swell with tears that I refused to cry. He knew how hard it was
for me to trust people. How hard it was for me to actually consider
someone my friend. How could he just hurt me that way now that he was in
love?
The light turn red and the walk signal lit up so I permitted myself
to cross the road. Then the wind whipped my hair into my eyes and
mouth. "ASSHOLE!" I screech and kick a rock in the direction of the car
that almost hit me. People are so quick to get where they want to be.
They don't consider anyone else's feelings. Like him....
I finally get to my work and slam the door behind me. It's time to
start my day. Without him. From now on I'm going to live every day for
myself and no one else. I won't let anyone have as much control over my
life as he did. Today is the beginning of a new me...

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