• Male
  • Turners Falls, MA
  • United States
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L_Rip7's Friends

  • Gabrielle
  • Aaron Lewis
  • Johnny April

L_Rip7's Page

Profile Information

February 19, 1979
Favorite Staind Song
Favorite Music
Stained, Aaron Lewis, P Jam, Bad Company, Steve Miller, James Taylor
Favorite Movies
Goonies, Fight Club, Shit I have ton I like.
About Me
The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
Ever seen Staind live?
Once....some time ago in Springfield....like in 99 or so. I think Aaron had cornrows......

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At 10:06am on March 9, 2009, nadine said…
this is the best profile "about me" i have EVER read... thanks, i needed that!!! i once had to wax a scrotum, not as breathtaking... (rent was due on my spa)

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