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Permalink Reply by hybriddysfunction on August 11, 2008 at 4:23am
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Permalink Reply by Maxwell Fujs on June 21, 2009 at 10:22am
Permalink Reply by jdanek630 on June 21, 2009 at 10:44am Dude... "I'm broken but it's ok?" I don't want to rain on your parade, but in all honesty if you phrase it like that, it sounds a little like a joke or a parody of an emo song. Unless you're actually traying to convey a sense of weakness in your lyrics, maybe you should alter them. Here's my sugestion -
Don't be so blunt with whta you have to say. You're allowed to use stuff like metaphors or just imagery in general... try to do that more often. As for that chorus, same thing. Try to expound upon your ideas so it doesn't sound blunt or (God forbid) juvenile. I get the sense that a lot of these feelings are from you, so I don't want to change these lyrics for you.
In my opinion though, they are blunt. If that's your lyric style, then dude go for it. But if you're still trying to find the right words, just remember you can always use a metaphor or a simile or imagery etc. to convey ideas. Sometimes it makes the lyrics more interesting too... but sometimes the situation doesn't merit it. So if that's the way you feel, then again don't bother with what I have to say that much, but please keep this stuff in mind.
Good luck with albums!
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